If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
