we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize