I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
