i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
