as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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