i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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