I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
