HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
