dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
