I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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