things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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