apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
