we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Still dying that you shit outside
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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