just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
