I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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