return my video game
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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