forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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