What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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