so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
