hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
