I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
