no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
