My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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