then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
