It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
