some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
