I will die if light touches me.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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