He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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