I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
