I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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