wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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