I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
