I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
