I must be too annoying 4 u.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
