hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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