I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
