You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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