on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
