somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize