so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Actions speak louder than pants.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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