We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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