just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
