she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
