Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
