how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
