Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
