so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Michael Bay diarrhea
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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