Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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