Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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