when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
