My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
