I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
