For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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