god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
