David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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