Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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