I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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