I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
