God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
